Elect Me Emperor of Bullets Nation

Written By Chris C-Ford ---- Thursday, October 4, 2007

Anything the Red Sox can do, the Wizards can do better. If they have a president of Red Sox Nation, We need to have an Emperor of Bullets Nation (world....didn't sound right) I guess it would probably be cleverly called Bullets Nation.

I feel I would make the perfect leader for this new entity. If I am elected, I will do the following necessary things in order to make Bullets Nation the greatest completely fake & stupid club, nation, country, guild, or whatever the hell it is. I call them the Golden Rulez of Bullets Nation (the z makes it cool).

1. Scoring Will Be Our Number One Option
Who are we in Bullet's Nation if we do not score. I will make sure we all score, and score a lot! Don't worry if you play Halo 3 for 14 straight hours, I will make sure it is you who scores the most. There will be no more Andray Blatch situations! Only success!

2. I'll Run The Princeton Agenda
A lot of Backdoor Action is required, and I have experience. I will pick important issues, and Roll with them. I'm a team player, but when things go down, I'm good with balls in my hands. (Wait, that whole section sounds bad...Not that there's anything wrong with that)

3. I'll Never Defend The Nation
If someone calls me out on doing a bad job, I will not defend myself. I will simply be offensive and attack the person who called me out.

4. I'll Address The Nation Via Blogs
No more will you have to suffer hearing those dreaded words "We now return you to Grey's Anatomy, already in progress" I won't cut away from precious TV time. I know that TV is what keeps the Nation going. All my addresses will happen online.

5. We Will Never Lose To Cavs Nation Again
If we do, I'll pretend like I was never elected in the first place. You can't prove anything...

Secret. I'll Exchange A Pair Of Prez II Zeros For Your Vote
For every vote that you cast for me, you will get a new pair of my custom shoe the Prez II Zeros. (Note: These shoes are invisible, and you can't feel them, which is why they are so awesome) The slogan is "I can't feel my shoes" and it is sweeping Bullet's Nation. Don't tell my opponents.

Stay tuned for the debate Live on Comcast Sportsnet. Hosted by Phil Chenier & Steve Buckhantz...

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