Asian Zero & I snuck into the "super amazing" Dewer's club for a special pre-game happy hour where season ticket holders were invited. The Dewer's club is an upscale bar/lounge where big time companies can get memberships and chill out with clients before games. At tonight's happy hour, they had giant pretzels, cheese steaks, mini sandwiches, and a table full of every brand of tastycake ever made. Plus a cash bar. Also at tonight's happy hour, they were letting in the dregs of society (upper deck season ticket holders)
The bar is really nice looking and pretty huge. It is a pretty classy joint. It was quite overwhelming and I felt like I didn't belong. Because of this anxiety, I walked straight into the bathroom. As I entered, I felt like I had just walked into another dimension. The bathroom looked like one out of the movie Saw. The light flickered on and off and there were several puddles on the floor. It was gross. But the most surprising thing was that there was no bathroom attendant. I once went to a bar where a rat ran across the floor and the bartender said "Don't be scared, we call him Jones." When Jones came out, the pitchers of Beast dropped from $5 to $2.50. That place had a bathroom attendant.
After the bathroom from hell, I took a look around and noticed something right away. There were two very distinct groups of people. There were the "suits" and the "scrubs".
The suits were all wearing...suits...and looked like they were high class individuals. When they ordered drinks it was like James Bond was ordering drinks with strange liquor brands that I never heard of like Absolut and Grey Goose. They didn't even have Aristocrat or my favorite brand, Vladmere.
The suits also did something else strange. They tipped people. They tipped the bartender, the food guy, and even the chicks that were guarding the desert table. And when I say they tipped, they left down 5 spots. When I leave a $5 tip it means I spent $33, not received free food at a free happy hour.
The scrubs were all wearing jeans and/or sweatsuits. They looked like kids in candy stores, happily eyeing the different tables of free food. You knew by looking at them that at some point in the night they would say "Honey, stick some in your purse". These people skipped dinner because they were getting snacks at a happy hour.
There was also a DJ spinning the latest (early 90's) R&Bish dance tunes. This DJ did not have records or a computer/ipod. He had CDs. That means he probably became a DJ like 5 years ago. Plus he was like 50. At one point he took credit for the Wizards 4 game win streak. "Every time I've been here, they won" he proudly stated.
The 2 chicks guarding the food were dancing and singing the whole time. Really? At a place with thousand dollar memberships. They are dancing. Classy all the way.
So we stuffed some cupcakes in our pockets and left the Dewer's Club and went to watch the Wizards play an awesome game of basketball. Me, Asian Zero, and our other pal voted for Gilbert Arenas 300 times each for the all star game to earn ourselves free jerseys and I caught a shirt at the T-Shirt launch. Plus the Wizards won...so it was nice.