The Night Of Christmas

Twas the night of Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The Tvs were tuned on to Turner with care
In hopes that St. Gilbert soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of daggers danced in their heads.
And mom in her Gil jersey and me my wiz cap,
had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the TV there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the HD I flew like a flash,
Turned up the volume and turned off the Mash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave Cleveland a look, i would never go.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a hobbled up Gilbert & 12 tiny wiz here..
With a little old driver, just awful a lot,
I knew in a moment it must be Tapscott.

More rapid than eagles, his players they came.
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now PechPech, now Nikky now Andray and Dixon
On Caron, on Antawn, on DeShawn, Dominicson.

To the top of the foul line, to the top of the key,
now shoot away, pass away, block away thee.
As dry leaves that before the hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the rimtop the cagers, they flew.
With a ball full of air and high top shoes too.
And then in a twinkling I heard on the toob.
The laughing and unfoused-ness of each little boob.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
On to the broadcast St. Gilbert came with a bound.
He was dressed all in street clothes, from his head to his foot,
And his ascot was flashy, not covered in soot;

A basket of candy he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a distraction just opening a pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as dark as black snow;

The stump of a wriggleys he held tight in his teeth,
And the swagger it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was skinny and slender, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had so much to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Distracting the bench guys; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, to the locker room he rose;
He sprang to his xbox, to his team gave a toss.
And away Gilbert flew as his teammates they lost..

But I heard him exclaim, ere he limped out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to Cleveland good night...