Tonight the Wizards open up the season at the “phone booth” (ug I hate that name) against the Sixers. While the current best NBA player from Arizona is playing through injuries and torching the Zards for a triple double, the 5th best Arizona player is Baron Davised (when a guard is injured every game for 3+ seasons). Gilbert will be sitting and we will be forced to watch a kid try to attempt to carry an NBA team in his 3rd ever pro game.
We will also be forced to watch JaVale McGee play “basketball” aka airballing dunks and not playing defense. You can be sure the Blatchemanian Devil will be there too, showing his presence in the paint with behind the back passes, fingerrolls, and fade away jumpers. And no Wizards experience would be complete without Hilton Armstrong fouling everyone in sight.
Don’t forget Lester Hudson will be making an appearance too. No he isn’t the old guy from the YMCA who calls a foul every time he misses a shot and tries to get you to check the ball at half court every possession in a full court game. He is an NBA player on your Washington Wizards.
At least I get to eat $1 sushi tonight. And I really can’t wait for someone to turn the ball over so I can yell “Put in Rex Grossman!”