The Wiz Brothers Are Getting the Band Back Together

Written By Chris C-Ford ---- Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ted & Ernie are the Wiz Brothers. They are on a mission from God. They have to travel around the world to get the team back together for a highly anticipated reunion show sometime around Christmas day. But where are the former players? It is time for the Wiz Brothers to hit the road and bring the team back together...

Stop 1: Lexington Kentucky

Member: John Wall - Point Guard

The Wiz Brothers travel to UK to find their point guard John Wall. They are shocked to find that John has been practicing with the college team, playing with players that are below NBA caliber. They quickly swoop in, and attack John Calipari with Marcus Camby blackmail letters, and Wall rejoins the band.

Stop 2: Lapdance Tuesdays, Miami Beach

Member: Andray Blatche - Power Forward

The next stop for the Wiz Brothers is Miami. Bienvenidos a Miami. They discover that Andray Blatche has been running a local establishment, which turns out to be a strip club. After a few 2 for 1's, the Wiz Bros convince Blatche that if he comes back he will have his pick of lap dances at Camelot in DC. Dre Accepts.

Stop 3: Lebron James' House, Miami

Member: Rashard Lewis - Small Forward

Right down the street from King of Diamonds, the Wiz Bros find Rashard Lewis chillin at Lebron's house with Lebron's girlfriend. They convince Rashard to leave by telling him that it isn't the 4th quarter yet, so Lebron will be there soon.

Stop 4: Virtual Reality, Playstation 3

Member: JaVale McGee - Center/Mascot

The Wiz Bros take to the virtual world as they secure a copy of Call of Duty and a PS3. As they travel inside the war, they find BIGDADDYWOOKIE and challenge him to a game. If they win, JaVale must come back to the Wizards. After a few Noob Tube kills, and a key care package, JaVale is defeated when the Wiz bros, get a nuke. Pierre decides that his pickup lines may work better in the real world, and heads to DC.

Stop 5: Los Angeles, California, 1985

Member: Nick Young - Shooting Guard

The Wiz Bros meet up with Doc Brown and take the Delorian back to 1985 where they find Nick Young is hanging out in LA at a skateboarding championship. NY doesn't want to leave the simple life of boarding, but the Wiz Bros convince him to after letting him know that his Jordan shoes boycott doesn't mean anything until 2011.

Stop 6: Dave & Busters, White Flint, MD

Member: Jordan Crawford - 6th Man

The final stop on the Wiz Bros journey is right outside DC at a local arcade. It is there that they find Jordan Crawford hogging the pop-a-shot game. Kids are waiting in line but J-Craw won't give anyone else the ball. If anyone is going to shoot the rock, it will be him. The Wiz Bros unplug the machine so the balls don't come back, and convince Jordan that there are plenty of basketballs to hog at Verizon.

For now, the Wiz Bros journey was a success. They have gathered the scattered talent from around the country and are bringing them back to Verizon Center as we speak. Will the band put on the performance of a lifetime when they return? Very doubtful, but what the hell, they may as well show up anyway...

No comments: