Festivus Airing Of The Grievances

Written By Chris C-Ford ---- Friday, December 23, 2011

I got a lot of problems with you people...

Andray Blatche:  Stop dribbling behind your back.  Stop dribbling period.  Dunk the freaking basketball.  Stop shooting weak fingerrolls!  What the hell do you have for a diet.  Do you just eat donuts all day long?  Maybe do some cardio!

John Wall:  Make a freaking jump shot.  That is the part of the game that anyone can do.  People in wheelchairs, children, old men.  Anyone can be a good shooter.  Also, stop dancing.  It is annoying.  If you do the Dougie one more time...

Jordan Crawford:  Pass the damn ball.  Take a shot maybe when you come off a screen or when it fits into the flow of the offense.  Stop firing up shots 1 second into the shot clock.

Nick Young:  I don't even know what to say about you.  You hold out for more money and nobody wants to pay you.  Now you are way behind.  Stop smiling and saying my bad after every play.  Maybe be consistent.  After you score 30 points one night, score 30 the next instead of 3.

JaVale Mcgee:  Stop doing everything you are doing.  Stop shooting hook shots, you are not Kareem.  Every shot you take should be from 0 feet away.  Also, think before you jump.  Don't just constantly jump towards the rim or the ball.

Rashard Lewis:  What happened.  You are the 2nd highest paid player in the NBA?  Do you even care anymore?

Wizards Front Office:  Stop drafting players that never did anything.  Vesely, Pecherov, Veermenko, etc.  Stop passing up on players like Steph Curry, Kemba Walker, and Jimmer who have shown that they are at least competitors.  Don't draft assuming John Wall is Michael Jordan, he probably won't be.

Flip Saunders:  Stop reading books about motivation and trying to get your players to read them.  Stop coming up with slogans, giving out hard hats, and getting players ipads with playbooks.  Coach basketball.  Bench Andray Blatche when he acts like an ass.  I dunno what you are doing.

Steve Buckhantz:  Stop saying that someone on the team hasn't missed a free throw.  They ALWAYS miss the next free throw!  That is all...

In Arena Announcer:  Stop saying Yezzir.  Please.  It is old and tired.  It was cool like 5 years ago.

G-Man:  Why are ur assistant dunkers higher flying than you?

Feats Of Strength

Let's let Ronny Turiaf put JaVale McGee in his place

A Festivus For The Rest Of Us

1 comment:

CapsFan722 said...

"Steve Buckhantz: Stop saying that someone on the team hasn't missed a free throw. They ALWAYS miss the next free throw!"

Isn't it weird how this happens in all sports? In the NFL the announcers will talk about how long its been since a guy fumbled or threw an INT, and you know within the next 3 touches, its going to happen.

Same with the Caps recently with Neuvy being 4-0-1 with a 1.1 GAA against the Devils then losing, and not losing to the flyers since 09, then them crushing the Caps last week.