15 Man Roster: Etan Thomas

"Makin My Guns Click Like Wine Glasses"

Etan Thomas & Brendan Haywood can't be on the same team. It is bad for both of them. Last year, things worked out in Haywood's favor, but this year it's Etan's turn.

I haven't seen Etan play in over a year, so I pretty much forgot how he plays. And then I saw the preseason game. It all came back to me.

Etan's signature move is the "power rebound" This is when nobody is around the basket and there is a rebound coming right to Etan. He jumps 1 inch off the ground, spreads his legs, catches the ball not at its highest point but in his chest, and makes a spazzy elbow swinging move as the travels the long distance back to earth. After elbowing his teammates, he then pivots in 2-3 different directions before passing it to a guard.

Two years ago, the Wizards used to start out the first few minutes of each game by passing to Thomas in the post, where he would get a few quick buckets. Then, he wouldn't be the focus of a play the rest of the game. I can see this happening again.

Etan has an awful shot. His range is about 8 feet. Thats not a problem as long as he sticks to his range. He has some strong post moves, and tries to take it strong & throw it down. Unfortunatly he can't jump. In fact in order to jump he has to squat down as far as he can and wait a few seconds before using his entire body momentum to carry him into the air. It takes him too long to get up, giving defenders plenty of time to reach in and hit the ball. Many times he is just pushed & fouled, taking away the easy basket.

Things arent' great when your starting center is Brendan Haywood, and things are even worse if your starting center is Etan Thomas. Hopefully Blatche & McGee get good fast.

I don't think Etan will get as many minutes as Haywood did last year, or have as big an impact. But I'm pretty sure he will recite some crappy poetry, and I just hope I'm not around when he does.