Amare Stoudemire Likes Slamball

Written By Chris C-Ford ---- Sunday, November 2, 2008

OH MAN am I happy to be watching this...

I was watching the CBS football postgame show. As it ended I was shocked to see the best thing that CBS could come up with to compete with football on FOX was airing a trampoline basketball championship game. (Regular season action was on Versus!)

Coach Carter is the head coach of the Best team in Slam Ball. That would be Coach Carter as in Samuel Jackson. Like the real Coach Carter.

Gus Johnson & Tom Tolbert are the announcers. This is my all time favorite announcer combo in the history of sports. Gus Johnson calls the game like its a NCAA tournament game, with all his excitement. Tom Tolbert hasn't said a word.

Experiment: Close Your Eyes. Yeah you are now listening to a real basketball game. Now open them. They are playing on Trampolines!

Can it get any better? Cue the appearance of a Al Borland flannel shirt wearing Amare Stoudemire. He is asked what he thinks about Slam Ball. As he says the following statement he is looking like he hates life. He says it with no excitement at all. Like he is memorized it. I hope he got paid big money.
"I like Slam Ball . I think its a great up and coming sport. It combines 4 different sports at once. It's pretty fun to watch."
We learn Amare will be in the booth in the 2nd quarter. I can't wait.

Some former college basketball players from Florida & Kentucky mix it up with some unathletic fat white dudes. What a sport. There are some sweet dunks & blocks, but tons of terrible ones & misses. People falling around all over the place.

This will fail. It always does. It has been tried so many times.

Amare comes back into the booth. Gus Johnson asks him about slam ball. He gives a different answer than before, but keeps his same bullet points in a different order.
  • It's a great game (check)
  • Mixture of 4 sports (check)
  • Up & Coming (check)
Amare then does some game analysis. (Probably reading it off Johnson's sheet) Now Amare is getting into it. He likes the slams and the blocks. He likes the elevation. He likes the defense.

Imagine the excitement of watching someone jump 20 feet in the air and dunk on someone. Now imagine Gus Johnson is announcing it. GOLD JERRY!

If anything else happens, I'll be sure to let you know...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're a douche. That shit was hot! SlamBall is sick.