New President Q&A

"Republicans read blogs too"--Not Michael Jordan
"Democrats read blogs too"--Also Not Michael Jordan

There is a new president. Barack Obama. I think you already know that. As you can see in my quotes above, I don't plan to comment on this. I am more concerned with other things like when Andray Blatche is going to be traded.

However, I did come up with some questions I'd like to ask the new prez. Sorry Republicans/Democrats for these obvious red/blue left/right questions. But they need to be addressed.

• Can you help the Wizards beat the Cavs in the playoffs?
  
  
• Do you plan to fight to repeal the "mega pool" tax?
  
  
• I still live in my parents basement, can I have some money? I'll pay you back.
  
  
• Can you appoint Etan Thomas poet laureate?
  
  
• Can you make the Redskins build a stadium in the damn city?
  
  
• Can you un-ban steroids for the Washington Nationals?
  
  
• Do you plan to force the NBA to use 11 foot rims? And if so, who is going to pay for the conversion of all the 9 foot netless rims that we have at every park & school to 10 foot ones. What do you say to people like me who are upset that they will never be able to dunk if park rims aren't 9 feet and on a slope?
  
  
• Remember that time I asked you if I could have some money and you laughed it off? Yeah, well I wasn't joking. I kinda need some help bro. Can you do me a solid?
  
  
• What do you plan to do about the evil dictator Lebron James? He must be stopped for killing all those Wizards.
  
  
• Listen man. I'm kinda in a tough spot. I'll do anything you want for money. Anything...
  
  
• What do you have to say to all those people out of there that didn't vote in this election? The Chinese, The Russians, The Germans? What? They can't vote? Oh. Yeah I was toads joking. Where are you going? Come back? GIVE ME CASH!