The Eddie Jordan Offense

I discovered a document labeled WIZARDS OFFENSIVE PLAYBOOK. Uh my scanner broke, yeah that's the ticket, so I just typed it out...

• Have 2 guys bring the ball up the court. Have them make at least 3 passes before crossing the timeline. Make sure at least one of these passes is either close to a back court violation, or just an overall sloppy pass.
  
• Run a 3 man weave type drill, looking for some back door cuts and kill most of the shot clock. It worked in High school and for a non-powerhouse basketball college (Princeton). Im sure the Wizards are as smart as Princeton players.
  
• Call a play for a specific player. If that player is not open, hold the ball until he gets open. Only look at that player, do not even think about passing it to someone else. After holding the ball for 10 seconds, just force the pass. After all, we have to run the play.
  
• If the other team is on a run, dribble the ball up court and fire up a 3 pointer. Its the only way to come back.
  
• If there are over 24 seconds left in the quarter, we will NOT go for a 2 for 1 situation. Give the ball to a player at the top of the key, have him wait until the shot clock gets to 4, and try to make something happen in the isolation. Do NOT run any kind of real play. This will leave the other team only 5 or more seconds left to score. That's impossible in the NBA...(if that is the best way to score in clutch, why not just do that every time...)
  
• If you are on a fast break, do not make a normal bounce pass. Use one hand and look the opposite direction. Try to get it through as many defenders as possible.
  
• Big men, you are just tall guards. Shoot reverse layups, bring the ball down court on the fast break, try to make some nice one on one street ball moves.
  
• IMPORTANT: If you get a steal, you must make something happen. Do NOT slow down the ball no matter what. When in doubt, just throw the ball as hard as you can towards the other basket.